WEDDING STRESS BUSTERS

Wedding stress is inevitable. We all go through stress. But how you manage and relate to it,

makes all the difference.

Here are a few wedding stress busters to help you prepare for the most exciting day of your lives!

• First and most important. Accept from the very beginning that not everything will always go according to plan. Nothing is perfect. Yes, the flowers you want, might not be in season, or not available due to hail damage. Reframe the way you think about it, and look at what happened in a positive or neutral way (realistically and honestly). Often we get so wrapped up emotionally into the negative, without looking at it from different perspectives. Maybe the flowers that are now available compliment your wedding vision better than the ones you wanted. Reframing is a mental activity that can be applied to many areas of your life, and when practised will become second nature.

• PLAN

  • When a stressful event arises (planning a wedding), creating a plan can give you a much-needed sense of control. With a plan, you can feel like you’re at least a little bit on top of things, and that you have power over the situation. Often, people find that making lists and planning (even if it’s for the short term) restores a bit of order and control to their life.

  • Take an hour and write down, everything – I mean everything that you can think of that the two of you would like for your wedding day. Get the popcorn out, put some music on, and brainstorm together. (If needed - a tequila or two, can be added to the mix) J

  • When working out your budget – try to rather make provision for the unexpected, than be caught off guard with unexpected expenses – which is a huge stressor. Rather budget a larger amount so that you have money left over to spend on the honeymoon. Decide what your amount is going to be that you are not going to exceed, and stick to it!

  • Look at your list from above. What would you need to do, to achieve your wedding vision? Once again, write down everything that needs to be done to achieve that.

  • Now if you look at your list, determine your most important tasks to be completed first (prioritise), and divide your tasks into the number of weeks or months left to your wedding day. Prioritise!

  • For the last 2 weeks before your wedding day, make sure that all your tasks have been completed, and that those remaining are only small things, such as picking up your dress, or going for a manicure – small errands.
  • Take stock regularly (bi-monthly) together of what you have done, and still need to do. Organise your week’s activities or list of tasks to be done.
  • VERY IMPORTANT! Remember to plan time into your schedule to have FUN together. Time together with no ‘wedding talk’.
  • Planning is key to assisting you to manage your stress. Keep a diary only for your wedding to help you plan. Put electronic reminders on your phone or laptop for appointments, or payments that need to be made, etc.
  • Tick off your tasks that you have completed. This helps keep you motivated and will give you a sense of satisfaction and being in control.
• Relaxation techniques. Learning these techniques will assist you even on your wedding day. There are many techniques, from deep breathing, visualisation, progressive muscle relaxation – so discover and choose what you prefer, and practise those. If all fails, pump up the music loud, play your favourite song, and dance baby, dance, as if no one is watching!!!! Whoaaaa!
• Breathe, breathe, breathe when stress hits, or you begin feeling overwhelmed. Take one long slow breath, and exhale for longer than you inhale. This will help you in the moment and help you to think a bit clearer. Try taking a 10 minute walk just to get away from the situation. Put a post-it note on your computer or wedding planning diary that says “Breathe!”
• Build up healthy routines such as eating healthy (no crash diets), exercising regularly, and sleeping well.
  • Exercising Regularly. Finding time to take care of our bodies is another challenge many of us face. Exercise is an important part of stress reduction for many reasons, including:
  • Exercise makes you stronger, and therefore more resilient to stress.
  • Exercise helps clear your mind, reducing the harmful effects of stress.
  • Exercise can help you work out the negative emotions that can result from stress, such as anger and frustration.
  • Exercise can also give you time alone to think through stressful situations.
  • There are two main ways to approach exercise: thirty minutes per day, or three to five one-hour sessions per week. If possible, try to find some activities that you enjoy.
  • Sleep well: The average person needs 7 hours and 18 minutes for a good night’s sleep, but receives only 6 hours and 40 minutes. That doesn’t sound like a big difference, but over the course of the year that’s about 230 hours of sleep debt!
• All those bottles that need ribbons put on them? Get family and friends over, and make a fun night of it. You will be amazed at how much they would want to be part of your special day. Photo credit: wedding journal online

Some words of wisdom

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.

Hans Selye

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.

William James

The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.

Wayne Dwyer